Rambling thoughts

I had a conversation with a good friend today that made me think, and made me feel good at the same time. She told me that she'd been enjoying reading my blog. As we started talking about my little online journal here, I told her that it definitely reflects my mood each day, and that I knew there were people who didn't care to read about my down moments, but that I had continued my blog because it's for me. My dear friend set me straight on a few things then. She told me that she was glad that I was still writing, because not only does it help me, but it might help someone else. Someone who's going through the same things that we have, but feels so alone. I know that feeling, and I wish I'd had someone else's past thoughts and feelings, however insane they might have been, to help me to not feel so alone. So thanks Chris...you helped me today.

It was also a hard day at work. I don't do a lot of patrol duties anymore, but since the school kiddos don't go back to classes until tomorrow, I'm willing to help out when I'm needed. Today was one of those days. We had a murder/suicide in our little community. I certainly can't go into the details, but it was hard. As I stood by helplessly trying to comfort the overwhelmed mother of the deceased young woman, while at the same time preventing her from getting out of control and re-entering the scene of the crime, I thought of how I could relate to her losing her child. To having them gone so quickly, without warning, without the chance to say goodbye. And suddenly I was thankful. Because I know that my Andrew went back to our Father in Heaven peacefully. A still, quiet passing; not one of anger and horror and fear that this girl must have experienced. Each day I recognize one more blessing of the situation of losing Andrew...I think today's realization hit me the hardest of any one yet. So now I give thanks. And I pray for the families of both of the young people in this tragic situation...they certainly need it.