Have you ever felt just a bit off? Kind of like driving around in a bad fog and not knowing exactly where/what things were? That's how I feel today. Actually I've felt that way for a while. I can still function, but things just feel off. Thing that I used to enjoy doing/felt comfortable with are no longer that way. I know my friends see it...especially one group of them. I have a hard time focusing on normal conversations...I don't feel like I have anything to contribute to them. So to my friends, I'm sorry. Please don't give up on me...I'm trying.
I went to the hospital today to visit someone who's there. It didn't even occur to me that I'd have a problem with it until I started to get out of the car, and I had a complete panic attack. The person I was going to visit was up on the same floor where I had Andrew. All of the sudden I was physically sick to my stomach, and I couldn't even walk into the hospital, couldn't even get out of the car. So I drove away feeling overwhelmed with guilt for not going in, wondering if and when things will ever feel normal again.
So I'm out of sorts today...just a bit off. Now I'm on my way to the firing range to qualify with my firearms for work, and I'm actually ready for once. Hopefully shooting a bunch of paper bad guys will get out some frustration.
2 comments:
Actually that sounds like a perfect way to get out some frustration. I hope it helps relieve some tension. I am sure your friend that you were going to visit understands why it was hard.
Stacy, I know how you feel...At times my anxiety surprises me in dealing with different situations...situations that I *thought* I'd be ok in.
Take a deep breath, I hope you had a good time shooting paper bad guys, and know I think of you often, and send prayers up when I do.
Post a Comment