I hate cancer

I hate cancer. I hate it now even more than I did before coming to Hope Lodge. I've developed friendships here that are difficult ones, ones that won't last. Not because we won't willingly keep in touch, but because some of us won't be able to. A friend went home last week; tonight she came back to visit us. Unfortunately after she got home, some problems came up and she was sent back to MUSC for some tests - unrelated to her primary cancer - on her liver. Cancer? Not sure yet. TBut what we are sure of is that we'll spend every day for the rest of our lives wondering if we'll get cancer again, as a recurrence or as a new development. There are people here that have gone through this more than once, for more than one type of cancer. Out of 17 Hope Lodge residents, I know of two for certain that have had multiple types of cancer. That just sucks. One of the volunteers was telling us today how she beat stage 4 colon cancer five years ago. She's 70 now. And while everyone else was smiling and congratulating her, I was crying. Because I'm 35 and I don't want to have to worry about cancer for the rest of my life. I hate it. And today I hate it just a little more.