Okay, I'm calmer now.

I've calmed down. I've also spoken with my nurse, who reassures me that everything is fine. My amniotic fluid level is lower than needed to do some of the measurements for Jacob, so that's the reason for wanting a repeat ultrasound. And it's not even an unusual thing...she said that there's just not very much fluid at the this point, so another five weeks should do the trick.

Guess I'll just consider it a blessing that I get to see the little guy again, and sooner than I expected!

I'm not allowed just one day....

Just for once, JUST ONCE, I'd like to catch a break. JUST ONE! But I obviously cannot have just one day of peace and happiness only. I had a call from my doctor's office today wanting to schedule a follow-up ultrasound. Why? The receptionist couldn't tell me. She said she'd find out and call me back, which she did. But she still couldn't tell me much, only that they want to check Jacob's growth in five weeks. Why? Was there something on the ultrasound yesterday that was off? She says no, but then why would be be doing another ultrasound? She knows my panic this time around....she told me that there was nothing wrong, but who wouldn't say that on the phone? She did say she wanted to make sure I could schedule it on a day that my husband could be there. Now I can take that two ways: either they know how important it is to me that Austin is there, or they know something is wrong and want to make sure I'm not alone.

I have an appointment with my doctor in 3 weeks, but I'm not waiting that long to find out what's going on. I'm calling them and leaving a message for the doctor or the nurse to call me back. My sanitiy will not wait.

It's a........

BOY!!!









I know, I know...we weren't supposed to know this until next week, but we unexpectedly got to go in today. Austin is leaving next Monday for Catoosa, GA, just when we were supposed to have our ultrasound. So a quick call to the doctor's office this morning, and we were on our way for the big ultrasound less than an hour later!

Seeing that little heartbeat was wonderful, and of course, I started to cry. The tech thought that she'd done something wrong, so I had to explain that it was something completely right and great to see. We got some awesome pictures too. It was funny to see little butter bean trying to get one of his hands in his mouth, while the other hand tried desperately to cover what we so badly wanted to see! But the tech was good, and managed to get a butt shot in and see the goods! Then she double-checked later, just for good measure.

So...Jacob Alexander it is! I'm so excited! I think the only person that's going to be disappointed is Annah-bug, because she soooooo wanted a sister-princess.

Home at last!

The doctor let us come home today; he didn't do another chest x-ray. The gist of it is that Joanthan's already had several and he didn't want to subject him (being so little) to any more radiation when he didn't expect to see much improvement. Dr. Bowers says that the lungs get very bad very fast, but they don't heal nearly as quick, so he doesn't expect them to be much better yet. We'll go back to the hospital on Wednesday for another x-ray, then back to the doctor on Thursday afternoon. Jonathan is now on his THIRD antibiotic and will be for the next week - one that is normally taken once a day, but he'll be taking twice daily. He really is feeling better though, so I'm very glad that we could come home; goodness knows we BOTH need the rest!

The picture above was taken after the doctor came in and gave us the go-ahead for being released...once I got Jonathan dressed, he was ready to head out the door and I couldn't stop him from hopping on the bed in excitement! The doctor gave him a few final words of advice before leaving....

Dr. B: "Don't be bouncing off the walls too much now Jonathan."

Jonathan: "Okay. Just a little then?"

Yep. He feels better!

Perking up...

 

Jonathan was feeling better today, but still tired. He stayed awake most of the day today, but around 6:00, he completely crashed. He was talking one minute, expressing his frustration the next, and zonked out right after that! It was actually kind of scary to see how fast he went down, but I imagine he just went on as long as his body would let him and then suddenly he couldn't go anymore. He slept until we woke him up to watch the Pengiuns of Madagascar marathon.

No chest x-ray today; the doctor doesn't want to subject someone so little to repeated radiation, so we'll wait until tomorrow. Hopefully we'll be going home, but to see Jonathan sleeping like he was, it makes me have doubt. I'm exhausted though, and so ready for a night in my bed, so I'm going to hold out hope! Matthew and Annah are with my mom tonight (Annah's first overnight with her!), so they're taken care of. Austin has drill this weekend, so if Jonathan doesn't get released, we're in for a lonely time here at the hospital.

Jonathan update

 

After a full day and night in the hospital, you'd think there'd be some kind of changes to report. Unfortunately, there's no GOOD changes to speak of. Jonathan had another blood draw at 4:00 a.m. (holy smokes...4 a.m.?!) to repeat the blood cultures they did yesterday. Then he had another round of chest x-rays taken around 9:00 a.m. The doctor came in before the chest x-rays were done and told us that the cultures they did yesterday showed a good amount of bacteria in Jonathan's bloodstream, which means the infection has moved to his blood. Not good. It means that it's more serious, and that it's going to take longer to get rid of. So, the doctor moved Jonathan's discharge date to "possibly" Saturday. However, this afternoon when the on-call doctor came in, she informed us that according to the most recent chest x-ray, there has been no change in the condition of Jonathan's lungs. We'll repeat the x-ray in the morning to see if there's any progress. But the doctor made it seem like Jonathan would be here through the weekend, so I'm not exactly a happy person right now. Austin has drill this weekend and it's going to be pretty much just me. I think Matthew and Annah will go to my mom's house on Friday, so they'll be taken care of, but I'm exhausted just from one night of trying to sleep here. (Believe me...hospital beds are not designed to be slept in by pregnant women sharing said bed with their five year old son!) Tonight I'll try the chair instead.

Oh, I forgot to write that we lost the vein that was housing Jonathan's IV tonight, so we had to have it put back in the other arm. The kid is so gun-shy about people touching him at this point that it's sad; he's been stuck about 8 times, so I can understand his feelings. Hopefully this one will work out and we won't have to re-do it.

Anyway...here's hoping for better news tomorrow, and a much healthier Jonathan in the process!

Sick Jonathan

Jonathan has been battling some kind of bug since Sunday afternoon, but today it really got him. His temperature spiked up to 105 (under his arm, meaning it was really 106!) and I freaked and called the doctor's office, who said to immediately take him to the Emergency Room. So I did.

He's been complaining about various aches and pains, including pain in his legs and back. His doctor says it's called Myositis, which is basically a breakdown of the muscles. Common with the flu and such. This morning, however, Jonathan said he couldn't walk because his legs hurt too badly. Which was scary. So that little tidbit of info, along with the 105 temp, made for a quick drive to the ER!

He'll be fine, after a couple of days here. It's been determined that he has pneumonia in his left lung...pretty badly too. So he's on a couple of different types of antibiotics and some fluids to keep the dehydration away....it's kind of sad to see him looking so pitiful and fragile, but I know he's being taken care of. Thankfully, we've got a great doctor and we're in good hands.

18 1/2 weeks

Today was my 18 weeks check-up, and all seems fine. I wound up going to my appointment alone for the first time during this pregnancy, something I said I wasn't going to do. (With Andrew, I was alone when I found out that his heart was no longer beating, and I vowed that I would not put myself in that position of being alone again in case bad news came. Pessimistic attitude, I know, but one that I can't help sometimes.) But, never say never, right?

Jonathan came down with some kind of viral infection yesterday that kept him up most of the night with fever, chills, intense stomach cramps, and some vomiting. Which meant that Austin and I were up too. Less than four hours of sleep is not recommended, pregnant or not! So after a hard night, I made an appointment for Jonathan at the doctor's office, and Austin took care of Jonathan for the day. Which was great....except it meant that there was nobody to go to MY doctor's appointment with me.

I was nervous but not too bad....my blood pressure was good - something that usually doesn't happen if I'm anxious about something; it usually skyrockets. Dr. Brown was able to find the baby's heartbeat right away (wow it was fast today!), which was reassuring after experiencing some spotting over the last few days. I hadn't been panicking very much, but it was enough to make me nervous going in there, especially alone. So, it was a good visit. Now we only have two more weeks before our "big" visit, where we'll get to see this little butter bean and determine if we have a "Jacob" or a "Sarah". I'm ready to know!

So....18 1/2 weeks down, 21 1/2 to go. However, it could be 19 1/2, since I'll most likely be induced. In any case, I'm almost halfway there!

I like my job, but....

There are just days that I feel completely seperated from everyone else at work. I have a very special situation; I work FOR the Sheriff's Office, but I work IN the local elementary schools. I do NOTHING with the Sheriff's Office, other than drive a patrol car and wear a uniform bearing it's name. I teach the drug education program, which I love, but I'm not a teacher. I am a sworn deputy sheriff, but I often feel (and on occasion have heard others say!) that we "school deputies" aren't real deputies. So where do I fit in? The truth: I don't. So most of the time I feel very much alone. Don't get me wrong; most people at the schools AND at the Sheriff's Office are very kind and usually friendly enough, but it's more of the friendly that you'd be to someone you meet on the street in passing.

Is it time for me to move on, or am I just going through yet another pregnancy-induced down spell? Who knows. At any rate, I'm not acting on the feelings....one thing I've learned in years past is that you NEVER make major decisions when you're pregnant!

Easter photos

Because I have nothing better to waste my money on....

...I bought this today. I saw an ad in a magazine at my doctor's office, and since it said "Now available at Walgreens," I found myself unable to keep myself from trying it out. Now don't get me wrong...I really don't believe that an at-home pee test can tell if I'm having a boy or a girl, but it was fun nonetheless. I do find it interesting that the results are "boy" though; I've been calling this little butter bean "he" for weeks. My gut feeling is that we're having a boy....and so it's fun that this test says the same. I have an ultrasound scheduled for 4 weeks from yesterday - May 5 - so we'll see then how correct this little test is. (And according to the manufacterer's information, it's over 90% accurate in lab tests, and over 80% accurate in home tests....so we'll see!)

Anyway, it was fun. I'm not painting any rooms blue yet, but still.....

Anyone have any opinions on the name Jacob? :)

16 (and 1/2) week appointment

Today was my 16 week appointment, and I went in feeling less anxiety than I've felt in a long time. I'm not exactly sure why....I'm quickly approaching the point where I delivered Andrew, so if anything, I'd think that I'd be MORE anxious. But I'm not. Maybe it's because I really feel like things are going to be okay with this little guy (or girl). At any rate, my appointment was a good one; I saw the nurse practitioner (who is wonderful!) and we heard the baby's heartbeat loud and clear - heartrate is in the high 130's to low 140's. I had a nice little laugh when the NP touched the Doppler to my belly...we immediately heard the heartbeat, then I felt a very quick jump of little butter bean from one side of my belly to the other. We could hear it on the Doppler too, as baby made a run for it to hide from the machine. (Enjoy it while you can little one....you'll run out of room to make those quick movements soon!)

Afterwards, we discussed dates for my second trimester ultrasound, and decided to wait another two weeks after my next appointment. It's a disappointment, but I really am okay with it, because those extra two weeks will give the baby a chance to get a little bigger and will make it easier to take the measurements we need. So, May 5 is the big day, and I'm so excited I can't stand it!

Oh, I also found out that I'm a day ahead of where I thought I was. I thought my "turn around" day was Friday, but it's actually Thursday. (A "turn around day" is the day of the week that you transition from one week to the next week pregnant - like this Wednesday, I will be 16 weeks 6 days pregnant, and Thursday I will be 17 weeks pregnant.) This isn't a huge deal, but I gained a day that I didn't realize, so it was nice.

I also asked the NP her opinion on 3D ultrasounds. She said that while they weren't completely medically necessary, she thought that they could bring a lot of peace of mind, especially in situations like ours, and that she would say to go for it. The best time to do them is after 26 to 28 weeks, so it's not time yet, but it's something to think about. They actually do them in my doctor's office once a week now, so I'm leaning towards it, just to get another look at this little one a bit later down the road.

Anyway, there's my update for the day.

16 weeks

Today I am 16 weeks pregnant. In less than a month, I will be past where I was with Andrew. And that thought keeps me going, because I'm hoping that I'll feel some genuine hope then. Not that I'm not hopeful about this baby's birth - I definitely am. But I'm somewhere in the middle right now...floating between hope and fear.

However, I feel good. I feel the baby move at least once a day; Andrew didn't do as much moving. It's the best at night, when I'm still and focused. I took a picture of myself this morning, in my new work uniform, which Austin and I worked hard to getting together. And Monday is my 16 week appointment. I'll get to schedule my ultrasound then, which means in about two weeks, I'll get to see this little one moving and kicking, and hopefully find out if my kiddos will be be getting a little brother or a little sister.

Anyway, without further rambling......