Dear Andrew

I never got to hear you laugh
you never saw me cry.
Didnt get a chance to say "Hello,"
you never said "Goodbye."
I didn't think that I could feel
so sad, lost and forlorn;
I never knew God chose his Angels
before some of them were born.
Your life was short yet special,
I shared it all exclusively;
I felt you breathe, I felt you kick -
you were alive inside of me.
Every baby is an Angel,
and every Angel is divine.
God needed one in heaven;
He came down and took home mine.
And although we are not together,
we're really not apart;
for you'll always occupy a space
deep down within my heart.
Time has begun to ease my pain,
it's only some days now I cry;
when I wish I could have said "Hello,"
and heard you say "Goodbye."

I came across this today, and it suited my mood. I've received several little gifts over the last week or so in rememberence of Andrew, and as I sat down to put everything in his little memory box, I pulled out his hospital blanket and cried into it. I suppose it's been a couple of days since I cried, at least over our loss of Andrew. I sometimes wonder if that's wrong, and I'm forgetting him somehow. It makes me feel very guilty. The rational part of me says no, but the part of me that misses him so deeply tells me otherwise. But I know it's part of grieving, of moving forward. Not getting over his death, but working around it.

So those are my thoughts for today. Not very upbeat, but not completely depressing either. My pillow invites me now....I've had several dreams of Andrew lately. Maybe tonight I'll dream of just saying "hello".