Goodbye 2008

As I sit waiting for 2009 to enter my life, I reflect on the last year. A lot has happened. Here's my rundown:

January - Austin and I made the decision to finally go to the temple. Our marriage began to get better. Life started feeling good.
February - Jonathan turned four. I marveled at how my baby was growing up.
March - Our family was Sealed for Time and Eternity in the Atlanta Georgia Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We decided to have another baby. Life was great.
June - Annah started public daycare, after having had a private sitter since birth.
July - We discovered that we were expecting baby #4. Life was excellent, wonderful!
August - Matthew started Middle School. Jonathan started Pre-K. Again, I marveled at the wonder of my children.
September - Austin left for Lackland Air Force Base for a three month training stint. Matthew turned 12 and received the Priesthood at church. Although stressful, it seemed that things just couldn't get any better.
October - I began feeling poorly. One of my best friends lost her daughter. Four days later, I had my baby boy Andrew, then lost him for the rest of my earthly life. One day later, Annah turned three. Three days after that, I buried my son. Life lost a lot of meaning.
November - I went back to work. Nothing got better. My heart was broken. Life was over. I wished it had been me that died.
December - Austin came home. Things started getting better. Although still broken, my heart started feeling a bit stronger. I was able to talk to people again. The broken pieces of life started making their way back together. I started being able to see some future again. I started being able to THINK again.

Looking back, I can see that a lot of wondeful things happened in 2008. It's hard to remember that on a day to day basis though, when I still struggle to make it through each moment. But I'm getting better, I think. I'm still a wife, I'm still a mother (four times over now, even though only three of my children are here), I'm still a daughter, I'm still a friend. Hopefully I'm better at each of those things. Maybe. I'm working on it hard.

There's a tradition in the South that on New Year's day, you MUST eat a dinner consisting of hog jawl, black eye peas, and some type of greens (collard, mustard, turnip, whatever). It's to ensure you money and luck over the following year. I've never taken advantage of the greens...I can't stomach them. But the hog jawl and the black eye peas are a must for luck, and I never miss them. I can't say that they did me a lot of good for 2008, but you can bet that tomorrow I'll be sitting in my mom's kitchen eating them up. Heck, I can't afford any BAD luck!

Of course, how much worse could 2009 be? Wait....I probably shouldn't ask that! So goodbye 2008. May a great deal of your memories be buried deep in my mind and heart, and may 2009 bring a bit more happiness for us.