Sane again....for the moment!

We have a heartbeat! I'm so excited I can't stand it. But let me back up.

I had a doctor's appointment at 1:30 today. I got there early, in hopes that I'd be seen early, but no chance of that. It was 2:15 when I finally went back to see the doctor, and I was a mess. My blood pressure was up when they took it (big surprise!), and I was on the verge of tears. I started crying when we walked into the ultrasound room...that was where I'd found out that Andrew had left us. But it was about THIS baby today. I was terrified that Dr. Brown wouldn't be able to find a heartbeat, but it was obviously there. I could even see it myself on the ultrasound. I started crying again, and Dr. Brown told me to take some deep breaths, because he couldn't measure bouncing babies. I think I might have laughed a bit at that point.

He did his measurements, and I'm due on September 19. If it's like before, with Annah, they'll induce two weeks early, as I tend to have big babies. So probably around the 5th is when I'll deliver. I have hope that this baby will be fine....and I'm going to try hard to hold onto that hope. I'll be going back to the doctor every two weeks; Dr. Brown will treat me as "high risk" this time, because of Andrew. So my next appointment is on Friday, February 13. Laugh if you will...but as I told the nurse when she asked if it was okay to make my appointment for Friday the 13th, really...what WORSE could happen than already has? So...I'm not superstitious.

I'm feeling pretty good right now....some morning sickness has kicked in, and I am thankful for it. It helps me to remember that this is real, and not just a hope or dream. So...I'm keeping my sanity for the moment. But you never know when it will kick back into total panic!