I had another post here, but I deleted it because I realize that I wrote it while I was extremely angry, and just because I had my feelings hurt doesn't mean that I need to hurt anyone else.
I've had some advice that I needed to stop posting all of my sad and angry thoughts and feelings that are associated with Andrew's death. I took a break and thought about that for a while, and almost stopped. But after some serious thought, and some advice from some really good friends, I've decided to keep posting. My thoughts are simply that...mine. It's my way to ventilate feelings that I have about our loss of Andrew, and all of the the crazy feelings and emotions surrounding and associated with his death. My baby died. It sucks, and no amount of venting will every change that. But for me, writing about it helps a little bit. So I'm going to write.
Please don't feel like you have to read. I know that I am not completely together at this point; I understand that my posts are sad and angry sounding. I'M sad and angry right now. I still have joys, and still realize my blessings, but they are very much shadowed at this point, and I think that's pretty normal. And if not, well...I'm not very normal anyway. I'm trying my hardest, one day at a time...and some days are a lot better than others. So, the tone of my posts will reflect how my days have gone. And that's all there is to it.
6 comments:
Sorry about that. I'm not sure how that happened. But this is what I wrote the first time:
I'm so glad you changed your mind about writing and sharing your feelings here.
There are so many of us who want to hear what you have to say. We want to hear about Andrew and we want to know how you're feeling and how you're coping.
We love you Stacy. Do what you need to. We'll be with you while you heal even if it takes longer than some people think it should.
Stacy, I am so proud of you. You are standing up for yourself, your feelings, your life, your loss, your son. I am so so proud of you.
You have every reason to stand tall and say what you need to say. Everyone heals and processes things differently - and certainly, letting others dictate to YOU how YOU should be is no ones place.
I love you girl and am here for you.
getting your feelings out is a much healthier way of getting through this than bottling it all up. that's how i got through my hard times too. you never know who you'll help by talking about it...someone may be going through the same thing you are and may feel just as alone in their loss. you keep talking/posting about andrew all you want! that's how he'll be remembered in this life. love you hun!
I'm glad you're sticking to your guns and not letting anyone get you down. I enjoy reading your thoughts.
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