The world keeps turning...

Today, I went into the next down with my mom, and although we had a good time, the long ride there and back gave me a lot of time to think. And think...and think. About Andrew, his birth, the things he'll never get to do. As I sat in the restuarant at lunch and looked around, I realized that it irritated me that life was going on. People were having lunch, laughing and talking. Didn't they realize that my baby died? Didn't they realize my heart still hurts? Of course they didn't...they didn't know me. A friend of mine is going through this same thing right now...she lost her baby just four short days before I lost Andrew; the other day she said that she wishes she could put a sign around her neck that says, "My baby died" so that people know that she's a mother, and that her baby just isn't with her. I so understand how she feels. Nobody can look at me and tell that I just gave birth...and that I am mourning Andrew's death. So of course life goes on around me, even with people that I know. That's the one certain thing that will always happen.....life goes on, with or without people. The world still turns, the sun still rises and sets, the tides still turn. With or without me, with or without my Andrew. So I must go on....somehow. And I will....it's just figuring out the 'how' part that's the hardest.